


Apologies

by alan713ch



Series: Waiting for the Darkness [13]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coda, Fluff, Gen, a bit of angst, christmas episode!, happens between my season 3B and my season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1226866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alan713ch/pseuds/alan713ch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of small events happening after they finally accepted their roles of guardians of the Nemeton.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Derek

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm a sucker for compliments and since this has been in my hard drive for more than a month I finally decided to post it. 
> 
> It's mostly things that I believe ought to happen but I can't work them into the season structure, so basically consider them webisodes (but yes, they are canon to this story)
> 
> Also, CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

"Derek?"

"What, Scott?" Derek smiled a little bit. He was uncapable of smiling completely yet, but at least he could curve his lips upwards. That definitely took Scott for surprise.

"I..." the boy was fidgeting, suddenly looking like that dopey sixteen years old he met in the woods a little less than a year ago, and not like his alpha that even when he was in mortal danger was trying to do everything for his pack, Derek included. It didn't look well on him - it made him look too young. "I need to apologize. I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For using you. When Gerard. I... I think what I did would be called rape by some standards?"

Derek felt like he had been hit with a lead pipe. He just sat down. 

He had been actively avoiding the subject. Yes, he talked to Dr. Remus about it, and yes, she had reached that same conclusion - that his body had been used against his will in a plan that had a decent chance of failing and that he hadn't even known about it. He remembered how betrayed he had felt when he heard Scott telling Gerard that everything was going according to plan (not a lie) and how hurt he was when Scott looked at him in the eye and told him he needed to bite Gerard. But it had all been what Scott had planned to do and Derek had internalized it as much as possible: threat eliminated, the least amount of casualties possible and a dreaded sense that Derek himself would've done the same if the roles were reversed. Even if Scott had finally rejected him as an alpha at that point.

It had been hard for him to understand that Scott hadn't had a saying in it. Gerard had threatened Melissa, had attacked Stiles - the buttons that would send his alpha off the rails - and he would do anything to protect them. And as much as Derek would hate to admit it, that night he was not part of Scott's pack.

If he had seen Scott's potential as an alpha before that night then the boy had shown one of the darkest aspects of it right there. All part of the package.

"No, not by some standards. I did it. I... I _raped_ you. I... I need to own it. You are part of my pack - if you still want to, of course - and that means taking care of you. And I should've apologized before. I should have come straight to you right afterwards and apologized and I didn't because I didn't want to do anything with you at the time and my mom and Stiles and... I'm sorry."

"Scott..."

"If you don't want me as your alpha I totally understand. I mean, with Erica and Boyd back you can form your pack again if you want - I don't know how it would work but I can let you go if you want. Cora as well. You guys don't have to be separated again. I don't even know how you guys ended up part of the pack, I should've asked you if you guys wanted it but it just happened and then you were gone but I knew where you were and how you felt so I assumed you were pack - and then mom welcomed you. I'm sorry - I'm a lousy alpha. Derek, I'm sorry."

Scott had started crying, silently, just letting the tears come out. Derek looked up to him and saw a broken boy that was willing to pick up the pieces. Did he look like that whenever he felt the world coming crashing down on him?

He could almost hear Laura saying _yes, you do_.

"It's because of this that we ended up part of your pack, Scott. Because you _care_. Hell, Scott, you saved my life! After all I did to you you still stood up against Jennifer, _broke a mountain ash circle_ and started attacking a creature that was a thousand times more powerful than you just to _save_ me. You took responsibility. That's what an alpha does. Cora and I were both betas going on omega at the moment and you just stood up for us. You already called us pack. You picked up the pieces of my broken toys and glued them together and made the one thing I had been looking for."

"Family?"

"Yes, family. And you did it after I had failed you. No, I _did_ ," Derek raised his hand before Scott could say anything, "I failed you as my wolf brother, showing you only the dangers and the risks of being a werewolf. I failed you as a big brother, trying to keep you away from Allison because of my own fears and problems and not seeing how good she was to you, even becoming your anchor. I failed you as an alpha, trying to bind you into behaving instead of sitting down and listening to you, of reaching an agreement with you. And I failed you as a beta abandoning you to your own when you had just sacrificed yourself for the good of all of us. If anyone should be apologizing it should be me."

"No - Derek! Not at all!"

Derek couldn't believe it. Scott was still feeling guilty about it, even if it made sense. 

_It's not because it makes sense that it is right, Derek. Sometimes what makes sense can still be wrong_.

His mother's words after he had killed Paige because Peter wasn't capable of dealing with it himself. Because Peter had lost it and the poor girl had been suffering because of his idiocy. And his own stupidity.

"In that case, Scott, apologies accepted. I may not still be OK with it, but believe me when tell you, you and I are good."

"Are we?"

"Yes."

"Do you still want to be part of the pack?"

"Definitely."

Scott still fidgeted, but that Derek recognized. So he just stood up and opened his stance, and the boy - his Alpha - slammed him into a bone crushing hug. 

Derek felt the hug of his _brother_ give him the comfort he had been looking for for so long. And somewhere inside his mind Laura was laughing that laugh that he seldom got to hear - the one that was not meant to mock him about something.


	2. The Sheriff

Not that he felt bad about it, or that he would point it out - because it was just a matter of perception, after all - but the thing was that all of them being under his roof was becoming a problem. 

Of course Mel and Scott would stay with him - no questions asked, even if insurance had offered them hotel rooms (The Camelot was as seedy as it could get, so the answer was no). She would take his bed (never a problem with their fractured schedules, although they've been sharing when their schedules matched) and Scott was with Stiles (a rehash of many sleepovers that had happened not so long ago). That meant Isaac came with them too, and he could take the guest room. Since a lot of stuff had happened in that loft of theirs Derek and Cora were more than welcome to take the couches - well, she ended up in the guest room, while Isaac and Derek were in the couches (Isaac had been very growly about it, but he was a gentleman). 

Five extra people in his house was not much of a problem, as long as everybody respected Stiles' jug of milk. 

Eight was bordering the line. For some weird reason Allison, Lydia and Danny started showing up for movie nights and hanging out and other stuff that ended in them spending the night at the house, sharing beds and rooms and all of them waking up in Stiles' room with pillows and sleeping bags and other implements, Stiles on top of Scott, Allison and Isaac in positions Chris Argent would not approve of, and Danny weirdly clingy of Derek. The first time he got home at three in the morning (Melissa wouldn't be home until ten in the morning that day) he had a small panic attack for not finding them in their rooms (had something happened? Was there a creature in town he needed to know about?) but then Stiles very sleepily told him to go to bed. The second time he and Melissa just looked at the gigantic puppy pile that the children resembled and wondered if this behavior was normal. The third time he just sat down with Derek while they were all outside in the preserve running (apparently Stiles had finally taken into running because he wanted to not die) and asked him about it. 

It turned out that it was perfectly normal. It also explained the one night they had all spent in Melissa's room after Scott had finally confessed his suicide attempt, and why Chris Argent found excuses to go back to his own place later and later each night. 

Ten extra people was a bit too much, particularly looking at the bathroom problems. 

You would think that the girls would be the ones fighting over bathroom time. Allison and Lydia weren't - they still had their homes and went back to them even if they returned a couple hours later freshened up, although John suspected Lydia didn't like going back to her house that much. Something about Barbara Savant being insistent in getting Lydia introduced to the Winter Court was scaring her. Cora and Erica were quite cordial about it, but they did use all the hot water every morning and Erica had already gone through his stash of disposable razors shaving her legs. That's why he got her the Merkur and a packet of razor blades as a 'Welcome to the living' present. 

The problem were the boys. 

Again, Danny would just take a cup of coffee and leave before the mess started - that boy was a morning person, something that would be useful later in his life. But the other four were the problem: fighting over who spent more time hogging the place, taking too long to do their morning rituals and, according to Derek, apparently Stiles also used it a lot to, ahem, _play with himself_ , since he couldn't do that in his room anymore. Isaac had a go a couple of times, too, according to the eldest wolf. 

It was giving him a headache. At least Boyd kept himself out of all of it, waiting quietly until the riots were done. 

That boy was really quiet. Stilinski never encountered him before, neither as a parent or as the Sheriff, so he had no idea what to expect. All that he could see was that he was serene, reserved, but gentle, particularly with Erica and Melissa - he treated them like they were going to break sometimes. Erica hated it.   
And yet, that stoicism had scared the crap out of him when one night he found him outside, contemplating the new moon, basically invisible in the darkness of his backyard. If it weren't because he chose to look at him with golden eyes he might not have noticed him at all.

"Sheriff."

"Call me John, or Mr. Stilinski. We are pack, you know?"

"Thank you."

The boy looked up again, and John couldn't help but ask him. 

"Do you remember? What was it like?"

"To be dead?" John nodded. "It's... getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I think about it. I think we are not supposed to remember. I was at peace, I remember that."

"So did she... ripped you off... wherever you were?"

"No. She did ask. She even gave us reasons to say yes." John raised his eyebrow. "I'm sorry, I wish I could remember them."

"That's alright. I didn't expect you to. It's just..."

"I know. And I know we are here to help him, even if we don't know - or remember - how. Of that at least I am sure."

"Why are you out here?"

"Can't sleep."

"Why?"

"Just can't. Erica can't either. She just likes to curl up next to Derek and Isaac and breathe them in, like she had forgotten their scent or something. But she's just as awake as I am right now."

"You saying both of you can't sleep?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Why?"

"Sleep is a privilege of the living. As much as we are here, we are not alive. We are an abomination."

"No."

Scott had sneaked up on them - well, maybe on John, since Boyd didn't seem at all perturbed to hear the alpha addressing him. Scott even had the red eyes up - not menacing, but driving the point. 

"You guys are not an abomination. Don't you dare call yourselves that. We've seen true abominations - you guys are just..."

"Statistical outliers?"

Scott sighed. So Erica and Boyd were not the only ones who were not sleeping at night. 

"We... we still don't know what it means, what it entails, that you guys are here because of me."

"No. We are not here because of you. We are here _for_ you. I'm not even sure for how long we'll stay - it's evident that we won't stay alive forever. We'd be perturbing the balance."

"Isn't she the one who calls the shots?"

"Doesn't mean she'll break it. Whatever she's doing, it's for a specific purpose. She's not the saint patron of benevolence Scott - she's the saint patron of balance."

"She's also my godmother. There should be some advantage on it."

"Boys..."

They both looked at him. He just sighed. It was four in the morning, all he wanted to do right now was sleep. Scott picked up on it, because he just went back inside. 

"Boyd."

"I'm alright, Sheriff."

"No, you are not. Come on, we are going to bed."

He walked Boyd inside his son's room - Scott had already positioned in the bed again, between Stiles and Allison. Boyd managed to curl himself next to Derek, who unconsciously put an arm on his chest while Cora rolled just so her arm would be wrapped around his frame.

He still doesn't know what motivated him to do it, but he managed to squish himself between Stiles and the edge of the bed. 

With the exception of those nights he had shared with Mel, it ended up being the best sleep he had had in a long time.


	3. Cora

She hadn't had a Christmas dinner in a long time. At the clinic they couldn't have celebrations, since they could be triggering for some of the patients, and when Laura visited less and less she found the dates blending in and she wouldn't exactly care about them anymore. All that mattered was that it was winter, spring, summer or autumm. And how the different moons felt on her skin. 

But now that they were inside the not exactly large Stilinski dining room, cramped in a table with the Stilinskis, the McCalls, the Argents, Isaac, Erica and Boyd - the other two members of the pack had families that wanted them during the celebrations (Lydia kept saying something about her grandmother and the Yule fest, and Danny had gone to San Francisco with his family to see his father's relatives) - she couldn't help but feel happy at the fact that they were, indeed, having a Christmas dinner. 

Even if it wasn't the feast her papa cooked. 

Melissa had made something that tasted like grass and shrimp patties with hot sauce. Romeritos, she called it. It was good, if you could stand the sauce. It was a really hot sauce - she could barely take it, and apparently wasn't the only one: only Scott, Stiles, the Sheriff - John - and Melissa herself could eat it without feeling their throats burn in the fire of a thousand suns, and Derek had actually shed a couple tears. Chris Argent too. The Sheriff and Stiles' ham with prune sauce turned out to be pretty good, and Chris Argent had brought several flans and cakes (he seemed to be allergic to pie now) from Minnie's to satisfy their sweet tooth. Derek and her had provided cookies - Derek remembered Grandma Thea's old recipes while she did the baking - aided by Boyd and Erica. Isaac had just ordered a platter of pasta. They were all laughing and telling stories, like the one time Scott and Stiles had tried to 'help' putting the tree in the Stilinski household and somehow ended up burning a portion of the living room due to electrical mishappenings (apparently it had been the only time Mrs. Stilinski had yelled at the both of them, so scared for what had happened that she actually lashed out) or when Mrs. McCall had taken care of them one year since Mr. Stilinski had to work and they ended up watching Charlie Brown on repeat until the DVD got scratched. Erica offered a story about a Christmas when her brother had managed to sneak into the hospital room where she had to spend the night since she had had an attack. Boyd told everyone about his little sister and one time she had managed to learn the choreography of a music video and how their mom had been so proud. The Argents talked about Christmas in San Francisco just one year ago, and Isaac tried to remember about the one time he and Camden had managed to get something for his mom that had made her cry of happiness, but sadly he couldn't. Melissa hugged him telling him it was fine - that they were building new memories that he would be able to put next to those good ones he already had, and replace all the horrible ones. Isaac smiled at her, and she saw that the kid did know how to smile without barb, even if it took him a bit to be completely open about it. 

They were pack. He was safe. He just needed to remember it. 

"What about you, son?"

Derek looked at the Sheriff - Mr. Stilinski, damnit! - like he had hit him with a wolfsbane bullet. The glass he had been holding fell to the floor and broke in a million pieces. They all looked at him but not even she knew what was going through his brother's head that he had to do that. 

"Derek?" Mr. Stilinski asked. "Son, are you alright?"

She could hear his brother's heartbeat skip again. It confused her - the Sheriff - JOHN - was just being polite, right?

But then Scott stood up and hugged Derek until his heartbeat calmed down. Then he cuffed him in the head.

"Of course he'll call you son. You are family, you dunce. He's been calling me son since I was thirteen. He just wouldn't let me call him dad."

Cora had never understood how much it had hit her brother to lose their family. She had gone through her own traumas, waking up in the middle of the night howling for that bond she no longer had, but at least she had had the safety net that the clinic had built around her, and Laura's visits kept her grounded. She had assumed Derek dealt better with it, but now she could see that he how had internalized it all, the guilt, the anger, the fury, and he kept it bottled inside. Even after all the sessions he had had with Dr. Remus and how he had finally accepted that it had not been his fault, the ghost of Kate Argent had robbed him of so much that the mere idea that someone would consider him a son was like a blow to his heart. 

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, _son_." Now it was Melissa who had used the same name for Derek, and if his eyes kept bugging out like that she would claw them out herself. Stiles did raise an eyebrow to her, like wanting an explanation. "I never called you son because I knew you kept the memory of Claudia too close to your heart. And after a while it was just you and Scott, your dad and I were no longer part of what you two had." Stiles nodded in understanding but went to hug her, letting her hands rub through his hair, and they all went back to look at Derek, who just looked at his hands, like he couldn't say anything. Cora decided to talk instead.

"Laura and Derek were very close. Uncle Peter used to be the one to baby sit them since he was the youngest and closest to their age - mom and dad would take care of me, since I was very hyperactive. Too much energy to burn off. One Christmas Laura and Derek were in charge of getting the Christmas tree. They went to all the stores in the area and couldn't find any. So they decided to chop one off."

"Oh, I remember this. I had to arrest you because you ended up chomping a tree that was not part of your property. Old Mrs. Josie called 911 because she could hear the chainsaw and thought she was part of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre - how did you kids got your hands on a chainsaw?"

Both Cora and Derek answered at the same time. 

"Peter."

She continued.

"Anyways, dad went to the station to pick them up and brought them home. Where mom gave them the speech of a lifetime. And Peter, a grown man, cowing next to his sister since he had been the one to get them in trouble. It looked hillarious - and it sounded funnier in my head, I'm sorry, we were supposed to tell funny stories."

"It was funny because it was the first time we saw mom truly lose it. You've all met her - she was very... calm. It was rare to see her get angry - it would be dad who was in charge of the discipline around the house, even if we were more scared of her. Her rage was like ice water - swift and calm. So to see her explode at Peter because either Laura or I could've lost a limb - permanently - was a thing of beauty. I don't think I ever saw Peter so scared before."

Slowly, like a pot of water starting to boil, laughter came out of Derek. It was an infectious sound, something that had to be imitated in order to be fully appreciated. And then they were all laughing with him and they kept talking about other stuff. Like - 

"Presents!"

Stiles and Scott were the most excited about it. Everybody else looked in confusion, since they had all been expecting to wait until the following morning. At least Derek and Cora had. 

"Stiles could never wait until the following morning. Besides, he found out Santa was not real when he was what, six? Seven?"

"He totally shattered my illusion, thank you _best friend_."

"Oh, come on! Thanks to me you got presents earlier than all the others, even Jackson!"

They definitely bickered like little children. She could see the mythical friendship they had. It reminded her of Derek and Laura. And from the looks Derek gave them, it reminded him too. 

Erica and Boyd squirmed in their seats. They had just been alive for a month now and they still didn't have legal identities or anything. Scott had contacted that lawyer that also worked for Karahalios but got a different one in the same firm - they still didn't know if they could trust the immortal. So, for now, they didn't have any money or anything to give. Scott smiled at them, obviously unwilling to let them worry about anything. 

"OK, so not everybody has gifts for everybody but that's alright. We'll make do with what we have. Besides, we also have the gifts for Lydia and Danny and they won't open them until later so we can still make up for some people and stuff."

"But we gotta open the ones we have now!"

"Stiles!"

"Dad!"

"OK, OK, who goes first?"

"Dad, I _always_ go first!"

Stiles went and brought some packets that looked suspiciously like folded sweaters. Scott's was red with a Baileyi on front that said 'I'm an alpha now', Derek's Lycaon said 'Sourwolf' - Derek's face was priceless when he saw that - and her own (another Lycaon) said 'I can rip your throat with my teeth'. Isaac's was a Rufus that said 'vicious puppy'. 

"I didn't know you knit?"

"It's a hobby. I had to ask Mrs. Josie help with the wolf thingies and she always gets so excited when we talk knitting so I always go to her and we talk stuff and she keeps mentioning angels and then there was a time when she seemed to know about the darkness around our hearts and I'm rambling now, aren't I? Erica, Boyd, I didn't have time to make yours, so I just got you socks from the store but I will make you the sweaters. All the wolves in my pack will have sweaters."

"Your pack?" Erica asked playfully, opening her pair of socks (somehow Stiles had found socks with little wolves on them that were not kids sized). Stiles just smiled with his nose up. He also gave Allison a new blade (her father had actually bought it, but Stiles chose it); Chris Argent got a new holster (bought and approved by the Sheriff) and Melissa a framed photograph of her and his own mom that showed them happy holding their sons who were really young, probably around six years old. The Mother of the Woods cried when she opened it, the White Knight as well. Neither remembered when that picture had happened.

It was a picture Stiles had kept in his room all these years, trying to keep the memory of his mother fresh in his mind. 

Scott gave everybody random toys and clothes and stuff like that. They hadn't had time to go shopping due to all the insurance paperwork and holding court and all that but it was obvious he had put thought on all of them, even Erica's plush tiger and Boyd's copy of A Game of Thrones. Apparently that show was really good or something, but he gave him the book. 

However, what broke everybody was when he gave Isaac his present. From both him and his mother. 

It was a manila envelope. Isaac's face was divided between 'what the hell' and 'are you serious' and 'sorry mrs. mccall but what' but then he opened it and started crying. 

"We've been dealing with the paperwork to adopt you. Since I am a single mother Scott had to come to court several times to give statements, but the recommendation we got from the Sheriff's department definitely helped. The paperwork in there is to finally kickstart the process on your part. If you say yes, it should take a couple of months. We also looked at the papers for emancipation if that's the way you want to go, but we would be happy if you were to join us in our little family."

Isaac literally jumped from his place in the rug to hug both of them, and Cora would deny it later but everybody was bawling their eyes out. She immediately saw Derek move towards John and ask how much money it had costed to do the paperwork, looking to pay them back. He got a cuff in his head in response. 

Isaac had only got a scarf for Scott ("I think it would look good on you") and a t-shirt for Stiles ('I'm a dick') but he gave Melissa a necklace that complimented her eyes, and a locket to Allison (Chris raised his eyebrows when he put it on her). The Argents gave everyone weapons, from Scott who got a dagger with an ornate hilt that had the shape of a wolf's head to Melissa who got a new mamba to the Sheriff who got wolfsbane shotshells. They even got Erica a set of sai and Boyd a set of daggers, and Allison told them that she would teach them how to use them later. Stiles was given a plastic toy knife. 

They had all agreed that Mr. Stilinski didn't need to give anything to anyone since he had been housing all of them for more than a month, but he still gave Melissa a set of earrings that seemed to belong to the same set as the necklace. The kiss they shared had been breathtaking. 

When they were done, Derek cleared his throat and got what looked to be a photo album from below the tree. Cora smiled: he had been pretty devious about his gift (their gift? She definitely had helped, and besides, the Hale fortune was theirs). 

"I thought we were going to be up in the morning with daylight and willingness to leave the house _driving_ by the time we were to open the presents, but it seems that I was mistaken, thank you Stiles. Cora and I didn't know what to get each of you, so we decided to get a present for the pack. However, it does belong to Mrs. McCall so she's the one to open it first, but I'm pretty sure Scott and Stiles will be on her back trying to sneak a peek. Here, Mrs. McCall."  
Melissa looked questioningly at the album. She opened it and sure enough, Scott was at her right shoulder while Stiles was at the left. Isaac towered over the three of them, and Erica and Boyd tried to go on top of him (she actually climbed on top of him).

"These are pictures of a manor. A huge manor. Why are you giving me this?" Melissa kept browsing the pictures while Scott and Stiles gaped at Derek, apparently their brains catching up. "Derek, is this a way to presume what your new place will be like because... oh no, no no no no, the insurance money would not be enough to afford this!" She had gone through the pictures faster, seeing the ones that had already names assigned, like Scott's room or Pack's den or Armory or Library, her face opening in surprise more and more, "but these are pictures of a finished house, not blueprints, what, why?" She finally reached the end of the album, where a key chain with the shape of an oak held a silver key. She just looked at Derek. 

"You should see the influence a fortune can have. Don't worry, the house passed all regulations and I checked for supernatural stability as well, the law firm knows people to check for that. Interestingly enough, the woods opened in the lot - there was no need to bring trees down or anything, they just made space for the house."

"You were only supposed to overlook that everything was fine! You were not supposed to do this."

"It is done, Mrs. McCall. It is my present to you, my present to Scott, my present to the Pack. It is my joy, Mother."

"It is my pleasure, Knight."

"Wait, so this is our house? You keep saying pack?" Scott was going through the pictures again. "There's a room for Stiles, and one for Isaac and one for Erica and Boyd and Allison and Mr. Argent and Danny and Lydia and yeah, all of us? All of us living together?"

"Obviously Danny and Lydia and Allison and the Sheriff - sorry, John - will still have their houses but they will always have room if they want to stay. As you've seen the feeling of pack has been getting stronger and we've been spending much time together - we are finally settling as a pack. At some point it'll feel OK to sleep alone and be apart but we do need a center. That's why I said the house is Mrs. McCall first. And as long as you are willing to take Cora and me in it, we did build rooms for ourselves."

"Derek, please, you don't even need to ask that."

Derek smiled. They kept discussing the house - until Stiles mentioned that they could just drive up to it, since it was finished. 

When they were in the Camaro, she smiled at him. She was proud of her big brother.


	4. Lydia

It rained pretty heavily in Beacon Hills every once in a while. The Winter Storms, her grandma would call them when she was little, supposed to harbor the coming of great spirits or bad omens. Instead of calming her that explanation would bring more nightmares. When she grew up to understand what weather patterns were and how they functioned she basically ignored that and slept through the night peacefully. 

But now that she knew the things that went boo in the night were real - and that she was one of them - she couldn't help but worry. 

She had been spending most of her nights at the Stilinski house or at the McCall manor, as part of the weird puppy pile they had built around Scott. She questioned Derek why it had taken so long to be so compulsive, but she realized they had had them before, like the night Stiles had managed to protect the McCall house with mountain ash, or the night they had slept together after Alex' death. It was no longer a defense mechanism, though, but a way to bond together and they all relished in it - and they were all thankful when it stopped being inside a little room and they actually had a den. 

However, her grandmother had insisted that she slept with them tonight. Something about a scent in the air unnerving her, and she obeyed. She was not to meet the Queen yet, and therefore her grandma was less fae and more human. 

She still scared her. Particularly whenever she asked her about Danny. Like he was a piece of meat she wanted to devour. 

And now she was in her room, all alone again. She thought she'd been woken up by one of the lightnings, but in truth it had been his presence.

He was inside her room, shivering, looking like a wet dog, pleading with his eyes at his mistress.

She still didn't understand how it worked. She had bound him by instinct, looking for a way to keep him alive and yet break him from the spell that was poisoning the woods. All she had done was to will her scream into his and it had broken him down into some sort of plaything, a puppet that obeyed her every whim. He wouldn't eat or sleep or shit if she didn't order it. He would maim and kill and destroy if it was her wish. 

It scared her. Because it meant she was responsible for him. 

Even if she still had nightmares about him. 

_Specially_ because she still had nightmares about him. 

She tried to send him away, to never bother her. It didn't happen. She tried to order him out of her life, and he would disappear until she was afraid of something - like a spider - and he would be there to rescue her like she was a twisted version of a damsel in distress. She ordered him not to eat or sleep thinking that it would waste him away, but he stood like a golem, obeying her without even flinching. It was like she had him on a leash, a leash she couldn't cut off. 

Had she known that was the price maybe she wouldn't have taken the deal.

"Peter."

"Mistress."

She still remembered him in his red shirt and leather coat, blond hair around him like a halo. Some sort of twisted version of a handsome man, transfiguring into a fanged monster that ravaged her while she held to the ground like she was trying to hold to dear life, until consciousness left her. 

Until humanity left her and only the banshee remained in her. 

Now he looked like a pathetic version of himself, his eyes blue in the night, looking at her with both fear and contempt, hatred and love. 

"Why are you here?"

"You were afraid. I am to guard you."

"Peter..."

"Yes, Mistress?"

He looked broken to her, so unlike the monster that had lived in her head, that she wondered if he was still somewhere. Inside.

"Oh, I am. I'm sorry - I can see it in your face, the question. I'm still Peter Hale, with all my charm and all my deviousness. What you took from me - no, what I gave you - was my will."

"You gave it to me?"

"Do you honestly thought I didn't know this could happen?" She shook her head, eyes wide. He was even smirking with his old smile, the one that scared her when she forgot to not think about it. "I did. When I bit you, Lydia, I was looking to gain a third wolf. I had Scott, and I had Derek, and I needed a third. Do you know we are more powerful when we are in sets? An alpha and two betas is strong, but an alpha and three betas is stronger. Five betas under one alpha, or five betas, one alpha and an emissary - most packs under five members total don't have one; the strongest set known is twelve, and that's how many we were living under the roof of our manor when Kate made her move. Somehow Scott has managed to break even more rules and have the deadliest combination: thirteen."

"Not all of us are wolves."

"No, but all of you are pack. Himself at the head. Isaac as his right hand, and Allison as his left. Stilinski and yourself as the magic wielders - that is one hell of a pack. My dear nephew and niece, the one pack capable of accessing magic on its own accord. But then the moonsinger entered the equation and broke the balance. And with the parents, who were forced to join due to the land's magic, you were in a very precarious situation since it's a very idealistic number. Honestly, you would've been better if Chris hadn't fully accepted that he'd go wherever his daughter would go - ten is also a good number for a pack. I wonder if one of the reasons they were sent back was to complete your set."

"But you said thirteen is the deadliest combination?"

"Exactly. The number mostly associated with... her."

"What do you know about her?"

"Not much, I'm afraid. That particular form and that particular tradition is very centralized. The one to know more would be Melissa, and yet she doesn't. She will not be happy, because it means she's been forgotten. I've heard tales that the White Lady is particularly jealous. Pardon me, mistress, I've scared you."

It was true - Lydia couldn't help but shiver at his words. She tried to think of something else.

"You said you were trying to build a pack, but you knew when you bit me?"

"Yes. Your blood, it tasted different. Sweeter, icier. Like a popsicle. I knew you were fae and I knew I had bound myself to you by doing it. Fae are so jealous, every single act that could be related to them will set them in fits. That's why you woke up as a banshee and a part of me would always live in you. After that, when I died, that part of me was enough to tether me to this world and well, you know what happened."

"You turned me into a horcrux?"

"A crude if proper analogy. But unlike Mrs. Rowling's idea of resurrection, mine depended on you completely. I was basically going to take your life and make it mine. I needed the magic of a strong creature to sustain the ritual and that's why I had you fetch my lovely nephew, but you were not supposed to come out of the house alive that night."

"You were going to kill me on my birthday? You said that I'd survive the ritual, with trauma but alive."

"I lied. It was very unfortunate that your birthday and the Worm Moon happened in the same night. Trust me, living in your head made me very fond of you, but I was always more fond of myself. But you, my dear mistress, you held onto life with such force, with such strength, you remained alive. And see, that was the fault in my plan.

By being alive the ritual had gone differently. Instead of being a sacrifice it became a bonding, and now I was twice bonded to you. Why do you think I started avoiding you after that?"

"I thought you didn't need me anymore, and that's why you never looked twice at me."

"Oh, I may have not needed you, but the truth is, I feared you. Because if at some point in your life you realized that you could bind me a third time - and you could do it without my permission given, since I had bonded to you twice without your consent - then I'd become... this." He gestured at his body, like he needed to explain that some sort of transfiguration had happened. "I guess it's fitting as a punishment, that the one thing I always wanted it's the only thing I've been denied."

"Power."

He nodded. "Don't feel bad for me, Lydia. I deserve this."

"And you are OK with it?"

"Of course not. But it doesn't matter."

"How do I know you will not betray me?"

"Because that requires the will to do it, and like I said, I don't have it anymore."

The rain had stopped. She wasn't sure he had liked his answers, or that she felt comforted by them. If any, it only meant that what she had done carried much more problems that she had thought originally. 

Now there was only fog in the woods surrounding Beacon Hills. Not much, and it seemed to linger in the far east, where the graveyard was.

"Go, Peter. I need to sleep. My grandmother thinks that these storms were heralding the way of something - apparently she doesn't know of weather patterns."

"Oh, no, your grandmother is right. The energy in Beacon Hills always reacts when it's perturbed. Of course, now with the Nemeton woken, it would be more obvious."

"So you are saying that something's coming?"

"Definitely, mistress."

"What?" When he didn't answer, she reformulated the question. "Who?"

"Who else could it be?"

She didn't need to look at his face. She could feel the fear leaking out of him.


End file.
